


Show me how to love

by penoversword223



Category: The Wilds (TV 2020)
Genre: F/F, new fave ship, sorry i had to, they make me wanna scream
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-17 07:07:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28845060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/penoversword223/pseuds/penoversword223
Summary: Honestly started as maybe some Latin angst but these dumbasses deserve some joy so now it’s just domestic fluff and happiness for all the girls with maybe a bit of angst/comfort somewhere
Relationships: Fatin Jadmani/Leah Rilke, Shelby Goodkind/Toni Shalifoe
Comments: 2
Kudos: 82





	1. Move In

The Unsinkable’s had an unparalleled familiarity with demons. The ones that crept up from your past and settled comfortably in the corners of your mind. They were all plagued by the island, but also things further back, moments and experiences pushed upon them by the brutality of the average teenage experience. This common haunting pushed them closer together, they found comfort in each other, fighting battles together. Once off the island, they realized the crushing weight of their codependency. If they needed to cope by being together, there were worse things they could do, and no one was in any position to object. So when Fatin settled comfortably into a 4th floor walk up in LA with Dot, the others were not far behind. Leah was first. Fatin worried about Leah constantly. When she returned to the bay and Fatin headed to LA, there was never a moment Fatin didn’t have an image of Leah, hands picking at her brow and teeth sinking into her lip, scratching at the edge of her mind, practically forcing her to pick up the phone and call her. The first three weeks, Fatin’s script of “hey, just checking in on my main SF bitch. how’s that hell hole fairing without me? Any new gossip?” was answered in typical Leah fashion. Thirty solid seconds of thinking, as if she was actually racking her brain for something worthy of Fatin’s time to share, was followed up by “not really sure, you know I’m kinda out of the loop here”. Fatin would always ease a bit subconsciously at that, she wanted Leah to be happy, to have fun, but if Leah remained in the background then no one could really hurt her, she could be hidden from the same preying eyes and judgemental faces that tore Fatin to shreds back home, this gave Fatin some relief. If she was not there to defend Leah, to pull down her wrist from plucking at her brow, or to rub comforting circles on her back when she got lost too far in her head, then Fatin could at least ensure no one was making anything worse. They would catch up, Fatin simply taking pleasure in the gravelly cracks of Leah’s voice over the phone, until suddenly Leah would have to hang up, claiming sleep or work or some other excuse. That was until one Friday night, Fatin startled awake in the middle of the night to a sharp blaring ringtone, one she had set to differentiate between all the other garbage people in her phone and the one person she actually wanted to speak to. Leah was yet to call Fatin over the three weeks, they had fallen into a routine. Fatin called Leah, and Leah without fail answered, but it was never the other way around. Fatin’s heart raced as she scrambled for her phone, was someone being mean? Was Leah lost in her head? Was there an emergency? The phone eventually appeared buried under a bedazzled “baddest bitch” t shirt that Dot had performed an impromptu, lovingly mocking fashion show in earlier, much to Fatin’s squealing delight. Silent static crackled on the line when Fatin held it up to her ear, “maybe a butt dial?” she contemplated. Then suddenly, shaky breaths crackled across the line, unmistakably thick with tears. Fatin sat up, turned on the lights, took a breath and put on her best “Leah you are fine” voice. “Le?” she called softly into the phone, knowing that she would have to keep her cool to prevent Leah from spiraling into a panic. “Im so sorry I called you Fatin. I don’t have anyone else” was the response almost whispered by the other girl. Fatin did not miss a beat before stating firmly “Rilke, always call.” Leah explained the absolute isolation she had been feeling these past three weeks, her parents barely spoke to her, for fear of saying the wrong thing, everyone at school avoided her and she had become entirely consumed by her own mind. Fatin’s heart shattered. “I’m coming” she answered, and there was no protesting or argument. Fatin shot out of bed, keeping Leah on the line the whole time, crept into Dot’s room and swiped the keys of their beat up mini van off of her bedside table. Fatin drove straight through the night, she left her house at 3 am and pulled up to Leahs house swiftly at 10 am. Leah stood tiredly in the driveway, bags at her feet, one hand shielding the sun from her Chrystal eyes, awaiting Fatin’s arrival. Fatin practically leaped from the car, losing all calm and confident composure, and stumbled toward the slightly taller girl. Without any hesitation, she wrapped her arms around her and let her fall, weight almost entirely dependent on Fatin’s shockingly strong arms. They stood like that for a while, unfocused and simply happy until Fatin heard a soft sniffle against her ear, und pulled back to see Leah crying. Her eyebrow had been plucked nearly bald and her lip was cracked in a sharp line, Fatin silently cursed herself for not coming sooner before bringing her hands up to cradle leahs face. Leah released a shuddering sigh, one ridden with exhaustion and the childlike fear she had felt waiting for Fatin’s arrival. A crease formed between Fatin’s eyebrows at this and Leah faltered. Her mind began to spin, twisting through thoughts of I shouldn’t have had her come, she should not be worried about me, she thinks I’m crazy, this was a bad idea, I am not her responsibility. Fatin went stiff when she met Leahs eyes. She was watching the girl drown again, maybe not how she had on the island that day, but it was the same raw fear coursing through her veins at the idea of losing her and the same swift and powerful current dragging her out. Fatin instinctually settled her forehead against Leahs, began rubbing familiar patterns on her back and waited for her to reopen her clamped shut eyelids. When sharp blue slowly and hesitantly peered back towards warm brown, Fatin felt nothing but overwhelming love. The exhaustion of her car ride escaped her muscles, her panic subsided to a dull ache and unquestionable love consumed her entire being. Leah must have felt this love because suddenly she had a strong rope pulling her in from the endless dark corners of her mind. Fatin cracked a smile, contemplating the repercussions of making a flirtatious joke about the power of her hotness. As the joke left her lips it was consumed quickly by Leah’s cracked pout. The kiss was short and gentle, Leah shaking with hesitation throughout. Fatin felt a shiver down her spine and as soon as the lips were there they were gone, replaced by the salty taste of Leah’s tears. “Shit Fatin. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t of done that. You shouldn’t have come. I’m so sorry.” Fatin barely heard a single thing out of Leah’s mouth, her hearing was muddled and eyes blurry with shock. Before Leah could drift out of her grasp again, Fatin tightened an arm around her waste and pulled her in close. The smooth arrogance returned and she grinned at Leah’s lips. Fatin’s voice cracked as she muttered “Leah Rilke, never apologize for kissing me”


	2. Finding Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guys ignore my lack of editing and the unrealistic size of the LA apartment. I’m tired and lazy.

After Leah moved in, the rest of the girls followed rapidly. Shelby’s endless complaints of distance halted at Toni’s suggestion that they become permanent residents at Chalet Fat-Le-Dot, as it had become annoyingly known. Rachel and Nora, never ones to be left behind, arrived with only backpacks announcing Rachel’s scholarship to dive at a mediocre California school and Nora’s research program at UCLA. Marty was inevitable, if she didn’t want to come, she would be dragged, they needed their human incarnation of sweetness. As they settled in, the apartment transformed, the dining room and “study” (cramped half closet with one small painted shut window) were turned into makeshift bedrooms. Leah and Fatin obviously shared a room, the announcement only brought on quick hugs, a kiss on the cheek and a fist bump with an I told you so from Toni. Shelby and Toni settled in comfortably, they took the half closet half “study” because Toni stated “all they really needed was a bed, that’s where she wanted to spend all her time with Shelby anyway”. The girls laughed at this, but none of them missed the whispered interaction where Shelby asked “but babe what about the no light issue” and Toni swiftly answered “you light up every room quite enough for me”. She hated to admit it, but everyone knew she was a big ol softy. The twins divided the living room with a curtain, creating a DIY bedroom for themselves on one half and a TV/couch space for all the girls on the other. Finally, Dot shoved her bed into the corner and made space for Marty’s next to her. The girls had did it. They had finally found their home.


	3. Dirty Secrets

At last, the girls were given a shot at a truly happy life. Leah began work at a bookstore with good hours and a calm but steady stream of avid customers. Nora fell into a pleasant routine at her paid research opportunity. Rachel dove for herself, not for the competition or her parents approval, and got an opportunity to really explore academics. Shelby and Fatin became an unlikely Instagram celeb duo. They documented their LA lifestyle to a sizeable group of followers, along with sponsorships and the occasional girlfriend flex. Dot got a job as an “outdoor specialist” for the local hikers and campers in LA, she had unrivaled experience and quickly became a sought after master. Toni began to coach basketball at an elementary school and work at a coffee shop in the afternoons, saving up money to earn a teaching degree. Despite her unruly temper, Toni’s life with foster siblings helped to calm her down around kids. She had experience and she had talent, and occasionally she would even field offers from colleges still calling from her high school days. Marty got a job interning at a veterinarians office, saving up to work towards a degree.   
The true bliss came in quiet nights and weekends at the apartment. Leah and Fatin would lay wrapped around each other on the couch while Fatin whispered little jabs or compliments into Leah’s ear, making her glow red, even in the dark. Dot would sprawl on the floor with Rachel, rolling out sore muscles or having passionate discussions about lord knows what. Marty and Nora would curl up on one big armchair, together, laughing at a simple movie or show playing quietly on the TV. Shelby and Toni performed their nightly tradition, in which Shelby occupied the final spot on the couch, much to Toni’s protest, and began to demand that Toni simply sit on top of her. Toni would resist, citing her dignity and position as the “ripped one”, until she eventually curled up into Shelby’s lap with a small smile gracing her lips, and more often than not fell immediately to sleep. Once, with Toni softly snoring into Shelby’s neck, Leah cocked her head and asked “Shelby, why don’t you ever just ask us to move our legs, or let Toni sit first”. Shelby smiled mischievously, and winked at a far more knowledgeable Fatin before answering “Leah, I’ll show you tomorrow.”   
The next day, as they settled into their unofficially assigned positions, Shelby hung back, leaving Toni to hesitate by the seat. Toni looked quizzically up at Shelby, to be met with a challenging look and Shelby’s smooth southern drawl answering “Oh you can sit first tonight, sugar. I know how much it bothers you”. Toni faltered for a moment before throwing herself down on the couch with an audible “hmph”. Shelby walked up and, much to Toni’s delight, wrapped herself around the smaller girl. They sat tangled, comfortably for an hour before Toni began to shift restlessly. Nora looked at her with soft concern and said “Hey Toni, you alright”. Toni glanced up quickly before answering “never better, just a bit sleepy”. Shelby brought her hand up to brush a loose strand of hair from Toni’s face and said “so why don’t you just get a little rest”. Toni attempted to shut her eyes, exhausted from a long day of work and kids, but sleep never came. She opened them and looked pleadingly at Shelby, the blonde girl almost gave in, but steeled herself to respond “Toni why don’t you just head to bed”. Toni’s brow furrowed quickly as she asked “But you would come right?” “Nope!” Shelby answered sweetly, popping the p and earning a slight chuckle from Fatin. Toni looked a bit lost for a minute, as if they had just spun her around a couple times and then asked her to find the door. The brunette stood up, scratched the back of her head sheepishly a few times, then wandered off to bed. Shelby, to her credit, seemed a bit distressed herself for a brief moment. Her eyes followed Toni and then she struggled to get comfortable for a solid ten minutes until Toni shuffled back into the room, eyes cast on the floor, pink crawling up her cheeks and settled onto Shelby’s lap. Before Fatin could even begin to laugh, the shorter girl was asleep and Shelby was kicking Fatin telling her that even though Toni was much more of a softy than she let on, Shelby still loved her and would make sure she got her sleep. Leah tightened her grip around Fatin, effectively making her breath catch a bit in her throat, the blue eyed girl never lost that effect on her, and cleared her throat. “Oh,” she answered, “so she’s like you Fatin? She can’t sleep unless someone’s holding her?” Despite the genuine innocence in Leah’s revelation, she earned a solid swat on the thigh from Fatin, a snort so loud it stirred Toni from Shelby, a cackle from Dot and Rachel, now rolling around in fits of laughter on the floor, and rolling eyes with soft chuckles from Nora and Marty. Fatin couldn’t help the smile playing on her lips from revealing itself, as she feigned anger at Leah with a “Hey Rilke! Don’t go sharing my dirty little secrets!”


	4. Two can play that game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little filler chapter bc I’m bored and I wanna finish this tonight and I want u guys to like it

Toni and Fatin’s favorite pastime became earning embarrassed blushes from their highly susceptible girlfriends. Fatin would talk about just how GOOD Toni looked in whatever outfit she was wearing and playfully egg on a hopelessly obsessed Shelby. Toni, however, took a different route. Leah was not necessarily innocent, but at times could be highly oblivious. She’d get preoccupied with her book or her thoughts and be a little slow on the pick up sometimes. Toni leaped at the opportunity to flirt playfully and glaringly obviously with Leah. There was no real intent behind the flirting, and both Shelby and Fatin couldn’t help but laugh. Leah would be otherwise consumed and simply respond with “yeah totally” or “sure Toni” until eventually the meaning of Toni’s words began to sink in, and she would blush furiously and search helplessly for Fatin’s eyes. Toni would compete with herself to see just how suggestive she could make her comments, until Leah began to squirm a bit before her smiling eyes.   
Leah and Shelby never quite put the game together, but they knew their girlfriends had some kind of alliance with each other. In response, the two of them became a surprisingly powerful pair. Fatin and Toni are nearly matched in their suave confidence and flirting expertise, but no one knows better than their girlfriends just how soft and helpless they became around the girls. So Shelby and Leah formulated a game of their own. During their nightly arrangement, the girls would prod their counterparts to reveal more and more of this nature until they arrived at the embarrassing realization that they had let their exterior down in front of all members of the household. It was a harmless game, the Unsinkables shared everything with each other, but it was still funny to see the two Casanova’s melt for their seemingly naive and harmless girlfriends. Leah would wrap her arms around Fatin, playing with her hair and whispering little bits of books or poetry she had picked up at work throughout the day, in a way she knew never failed to woo her, until Fatin turned into an absolute bumbling mess in her arms. Shelby, on the other hand, would allow Toni to curl up, before she brought out the soft pet names in her smooth country accent and hair braiding expertise that sent a shiver down Toni’s spine. Toni would, as a result, begin to stutter at her girlfriends requests and comments, unable to formulate proper responses because she is simply too consumed by her existence.   
The games were much to the rests amusement, Dot and Rachel, and sometimes even Nora and Marty, would tease Toni and Fatin endlessly for a solid ten minutes with impressions of “s-s-sure shelbs” and “what’d you say Leah?” “Love you le”. Shelby and Leah did not get off easy either, Leah received a steady stream of “ooooooh Leah and Toni” in mocking sing songy voices when the realization of tonis flirting finally hit her. And the girls would assist Fatin in her fawning over Toni, much to Shelby’s despair as she became easily riled up. At the end of the night though, Toni’s frustration was entirely erased by a soft peck on the cheek from Shelby, Fatin’s protesting was immediately quieted by Leah silently wrapping her arms around her, Shelby’s blush disappeared swiftly when Toni grabbed her hand and shoo’d the other girls away from he helpless girlfriend, and Leah lost all helpless embarrassment the moment Fatin rested her hands on her shoulders and whispered a soft joke or reassurance in her ear.


	5. Lost

When Fatin first came to love Leah, on that godforsaken island, she was always watching for Leah to get lost in her head. A thought would turn into a million, and Leah would spiral. Fatin hated getting Leah stolen from her in this way, seeing her suffer but being unable to really understand why or help. In LA, Fatin began her mission to truly get some insight into Leah’s big, beautiful, sometimes frightening mind. Before Leah came to live with Fatin and Dot, Fatin dragged Dot to the closest Barnes and Nobles, something Leah would object to, always urging the girls to support small bookstores, not the big corporation. Once there, Fatin expressed her intent to buy a couple lightweight books on psychology, anxiety, depression, whatever she might need. They left the store with 4 bags, half textbooks, some memoirs, anything that could give a bit of insight. Fatin devoured all knowledge she could before Leah’s arrival. Deep down the girl was always silently wishing Leah would move in, so she was more than happy to prepare. Fatin’s careless, nonchalant cover fell away when she was reading these books, to be replaced with an incomparable focus rivaling the one she offered her cello playing. When Leah moved into Fatin’s room, the books were stacked in a corner and buried by Leah’s endless supply of literature and poems. Fatin did not forget her concern for Leah’s emotional or mental well-being. She was always watching for Leah to get pulled away into her mind, she kept a consistent hand rubbing at her back to ground her, and was always quick to defend the girl against any type of distressing moment. So one morning, when Fatin watched Leah untangle herself slowly from their entirely combined limbs, she thought nothing of Leah picking up a book to read aloud from a corner, one that concealed Fatins collection of psychological material. As Leah turned around, Fatin was entirely distracted by the other girls hands. One was holding a comforter which was wrapped around her body like a toga, fingers gripping into the soft white material. The other was spread achingly across a copy of something Vonnegut, one of Fatin’s new favorite authors. Being enamored with Leah’s hands put Fatin at quite the disadvantage when the other girl finally spoke. Fatin did not watch Leah’s eyes search the stack , reading the titles of Fatin’s collection, face morphing from curiosity, to confusion, to understanding, to hurt, to hurt thinly concealed by anger. “Fatin,” her voice was measured, and Fatin closed her eyes and smiled at the sound of her name coming out of the other girls mouth, “You think I’m fucking crazy.” It was not an accusation as much as a sad, quiet realization. At this point, Fatin was slightly delirious with her love for Leah, she wasn’t exactly listening to what the other girl had to say as much as she was admiring the way her voice fell upon her ears and her body looked in the early morning light. A small chuckle left Fatin’s lips, not necessarily in response to Leah’s statement, and at this Leah froze. Jeff thought Leah was crazy, the other girls thought Leah was crazy on the island, her parents thought Leah was crazy, but Fatin never truly did, even when Leah was pretty damn sure she was. Fatin slowly opened her eyes again, searching for Leah’s, curious about the silence. When she was met with shining tears and that sunken , “I’m getting in my head” look, Fatin stood up and made a quick dash to stand in front of the other girl. “Le?” Fatin said, she was racking her brain for what happened. When Leah glanced up at Fatin, eyes swirled with hurt and anger, Fatin felt a short pang of relief, at least Leah was looking at her, not through her in that lost way. This feeling was followed immediately by “oh shit”. Fatin knew she did something wrong, only question was what. Leah spoke up again “Fatin, I am not crazy”. Fatin was slightly lost at this point, Leah wasn’t crazy. She was a beautiful, brave, funny, genius with a mind far more complex and impressive than anything fatin had ever seen. So to this, Fatin replied “of course not my love”.   
“So then, Fatin, why are you psycho analyzing me?”   
Fatin looked down and immediately understood, she knew how this looked but that’s not what this was. “Leah,” Fatin responded, feeling the hurt radiating off of the woman she had never wanted to cause any pain for, “I just wanted to see if I could help”.   
“Help with what?” Leah questioned “my insanity? My unbearable thinking? my fucked up brain?”   
Fatin jumped at the force in these questions, “never le. I just didn’t want you to be afraid anymore. I just wanted you to get lost in a good book, or our love or happiness or anything else other than that big brain of yours, which can sometimes get entirely consumed by worry”. Leah’s fingers instinctually shot up to her eyebrow in a way they had not since the beginning of Fatin and hers time together. At this, tears began to streak heavily down Fatins cheek. “I’m an idiot” she thought. “I ruined it and I should’ve just minded my business like with my parents.” Fatin saw that Leah was on the verge of tearing skin so she reached up quickly to grab her hand, but at this Leah jerked back. Leah had never done that before, even when they weren’t together and they were on the island, Leah had allowed Fatin to move her hand. Fatin attempted to say something, anything, but all that came out was a heaving stutter of incoherent words. She thoroughly believed she had fucked it. The best thing in her life just disappeared before her eyes simply due to her own stupidity. So, in the only acceptable response, Fatin ran. She was never one to run from a fight, or a challenge, but this was too much. It was reminiscent of their fight on the island, in the face of Leah, Fatin never wanted to fight, if Leah was mad at her, she simply wanted to disappear. So that is exactly what she did. Fatin stumbled into one of Leahs sweaters and a pair of boxer shorts, snatched the keys from the counter and ran. Leah was a bit stunned. She was hurt, but her girlfriend had also just ran away at 5 in the morning, disheveled and almost half naked into LA. Leah was afraid, the same fear that erased all her hurt and anger on the island that day. Fatin is currently running through a dangerous city, (maybe losing her mind??) with only her keys and no phone. Leah rattled at Dot’s doorknob until she appeared bleary eyed with half her hair matted down. Leah was already crying and launched into a rambling explanation before Dot could even ask her why the fuck she had just been woken up at the ass crack of dawn. Dot almost laughed at Leah and Fatin’s hopeless miscommunication, she would have if her best friend was not literally roaming the streets, unhinged at the thought of losing the love of her life. Dot, ever the survivalist, made a plan. First, she calmed Leah down, she explained how stupidly in love Fatin is and was, how that first week they had gone to the bookstore because Fatin was overwhelmed with worry, how fatin had drowned herself in this research just to gain a bit of understanding about the girl she loved. Guilt twisted Leahs stomach into knots. She had to find Fatin. Normally, this is when Leah would drift off into her mind. But Fatin was keeping her from disappearing. Dot took the old minivan and Leah quickly got dressed and headed out on foot, shouting Fatins name every block. Eventually, Leah walked up to the beach where Fatin and her had their first date. Immediately, they told each other they loved the other. There was no waiting or caution, they knew. Leah searched the dim sand only to have her eyes land on her normally larger than life girlfriend tucked into a minuscule ball, rocking gently from heel to toe. Leah approached Fatin like a scared animal, she was not entirely sure what to do. The closer she got out the more she could make out Fatin’s heaving sobs and quiet whispers of “you ruined it again”. Leah’s heart broke a little bit. She called out to Fatin and her voice cracked on the second syllable in a way that gave the girl such vivid nostalgia to that day on the island when Leah was streamed in pink face paint and she had finally made her proud that her sobbing subsided a bit and she cracked a wavering smile. Leah could not be calm anymore, she sprinted up and threw her sweatshirt across Fatin’s legs, LA is warm enough, but Fatin is always complaining about the cold. “Nothing is ruined” she assured firmly, but Fatin seemed resolutely unconvinced. “Fatin, you only wanted to help, and I know that. You help me more than you know. I don’t get lost anymore because of you. You keep me here, you make me want to stay”. Fatin was endlessly regretful, she knew Leah still loved her but she didn’t believe that she deserved this forgiveness. “No” Fatin protested “Leah I will just ruin us. If I try to make things better, I fail. This is the way I am. Don’t pity me”. Leah recalled their first date here and tried to bring the memory back to Fatin again. “Remember when we walked here and we were both pretty knew to the neighborhood. We were both so excited to explore and it was the most obvious thing in the world that we loved each other.” Fatin could not help but nod and smile, she loved Leah just as much today as she did then, and that would never change. Leah brought her hands up to Fatin’s face and locked their eyes together. “Fatin you could never lose me and you have helped more than you could possibly imagine. I could not even imagine getting lost with you because you are my home, you have been since the island, you were that day down here by the ocean and you have been everyday since”


End file.
